So your life sucks?
You’re not alone.
Even better news:
You can change it today.
In this article, you will learn why your life sucks and how you can make it awesome.
First, there is one essential fact you must understand. Or change will be temporary at best.
Here it is:
Your Life is What You Have Made it
The truth you gotta know is that you, and only you, have made your life what it is.
There are laws or rules that exist in the universe, and there is nothing you can do about it. One of those rules is that you will reap what you sow, that what you do will be what you get.
You observe this in nature but may not understand how it is the same way in your life.
If you plant an apple seed, you will get an apple tree. If you plant a thorn bush, guess what, you are getting a thorn bush.
It doesn’t matter how you feel about this. There is no way around it. If your life sucks, it’s because you have planted the wrong things.
What About the People Who Have Caused You to Make Choices
Yes, people have done awful things to you.
But you are the only one who has the right and ability to control yourself. You are the one who chooses how to respond or not respond in the face of those difficulties.
No matter what happens to you, you are the only one who can make your life what it is.
Even Viktor Frankl, who suffered years in Nazi concentration camps, believed that no one can make you do anything or take your soul.
Can you imagine anything much worse than having your life and your family completely taken from you and enduring torture for years and still being able to say “they couldn’t take my honor”.
Taking responsibility for your life is so so so important, that you might as well stop reading now if you won’t make this shift.
Take however long you need and work this out in your own mind and incorporate it into your life, starting now. And know that it will be something you will have to remind yourself of regularly.
Now that we have that settled, you can make the necessary changes to turn your life from suck to great.
Change Your Ideas, Change Your Life
If your life sucks, you likely believe stupid things.
Don’t worry. Most of us are in the same boat.
For way too many years, we’ve listened to bad ideas and now we are living with the results of following that advice.
Thankfully, you can change if you want to!
The first step is to fix your harmful thinking.
So what exactly are these bad ideas? Why does your life suck?
#1: Life Happens to You
Sure, you’ve definitely heard that life is what you make it.
But that saying is in direct contrast to what you do (which is how to identify what you really believe). But more about that later.
There is, without doubt, a prevailing belief that the right spouse or friend, the perfect opportunity, the dream job will just show up, and if other people have those things when you don’t, it is because they have had better luck.
Life is not simply breathing air. Life is work. Hard work. And work is not bad.
Having to work for something doesn’t mean that it’s not right. Quite the opposite. Whatever is right will take more work than a thousand of the wrong things.
Find What you Love and Pour your Heart into it
You have likely never found who you are, the thing or things that light up your soul. This is hard work (there it is again), but it is the only way to find a fulfilling life and that is what you are looking for.
Refuse to sit idly by and distract yourself with all the material forced in front of your face and determine to set a course of self-discovery to awaken that sleeping giant in your soul.
All the struggle and the pain will be worth it when you finally find who you have been all along.
#2: You are Who Someone Else Made You to Be
This may be a little of a repeat from the beginning, but stick with it anyway.
If you didn’t have proper parenting or training in the early years of your life, who’s fault is that?
Your parents or guardians or teachers or whoever.
If you are an adult and still crippled because of it, who’s fault is that?
There are thousands and thousands of examples of people throughout all of human history who have overcome worse experiences than what you’ve had and made awesome lives for themselves.
So, there is no excuse.
That may sound a little harsh, but you are going to have to face the truth if you are going to have a life that doesn’t suck.
I am not unsympathetic; I have had to let go of much of my own crap too!
If you have hurts from your past that are holding you back in life there are two things you must do to be able to move on.
Break the Hold of the Past
1. You must forgive.
Now, that is something that you hear often, but what does it actually mean?
Forgiveness is this:
Choosing to live with the consequences of someone else’s choice and not holding it against them any longer.
Does that mean that you have to like them? Uh, no. Does that mean you have to continue letting them hurt you (if it’s someone still in your life)? No. Does forgiveness mean that you need to reach out to them and let them know you forgive them? Not necessarily. It simply means that you are facing the fact that what they did sucked, but you are not letting it cause your life to suck anymore.
2. You must accept your role.
I know this may seem weird when talking about others doing wrong to you but you are always in charge of your own responses to your life regardless of the situation and the only way you will move forward in changing your life is to be 100% honest about what choices you have made that got you here.
This is not some pie in the sky idea, but one I’m very, very familiar with. I made many bad choices in my younger life, many of which should have probably killed me, and always wanted to blame someone else.
The most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced, aside from forgiving, was when I came to terms with the fact that the nearly life destroying decisions I had made were just that, my choices.
Look at the suck and own it. You will be glad you did.
So, realize your life is really in your hands, face the past and let it go, and turn your life into something worth living before it’s too late.
#3: Life is About You
Aside from purposeful acts of harm against you, one way they have led you into a life that sucks is this horrible idea that your life is all about you.
Let me explain:
You find authentic life in giving your life for someone or something else, not just living for yourself.
“Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Jesus
If you feel depressed and frustrated because, no matter what you try, you just can’t figure out what to do with your life, the #1 best way to get yourself out is to live your life for other people.
It’s time to grow up and let go of having to get your own way all the time. Learn to take care of yourself and others from your heart.
What does that look like?
It could look like a gazillion different things.
So, if you want your life to improve, serve others, create a better life for them, and your own purpose and desires may very well emerge!
#4 Life is Scary
Fear is not the awful bad thing you many think it is, it is a part of life, a part of you.
There is no way to abolish it, nor do you want to (well, you may want to). It is what it is.
The thing that you need to understand about fear is that it is neutral.
You choose where, how, and why to use it.
It is up to you to acknowledge its existence, use it appropriately, and keep it in its correct place.
The Existence of Fear
Far too long they have led us to believe that fear is the big bad wolf coming to eat us up. But that’s not necessarily the case.
Fear is a tool that helps you to discern and decide much in your life.
It’s time to remove it from its stigma and see it for what it is.
The Proper Use of Fear
You want fear to help guide you in your life to evaluate and determine many things but you don’t ever want to give it the upper hand. It is never to be in control, but simply a guide.
The Correct Place for Fear
The ancient book of wisdom called Proverbs says, “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”
What does this mean?
It means that you need not fear other humans or even yourself, but something or someone that is bigger than what is existing on the same plane or space as yourself.
Fear of people is where most of us get in trouble and end up not doing what we ought or want, which leads to a life that sucks.
Change Your Doings
Once you shift your mindset, change your ideas, and bring fear into its proper place in your life, you will naturally do things differently.
The things you do are an outward showing of what you truly believe, so if your ideas are better your actions will be too.
Your life sucks because you’ve made choices that have led you here, but today I have armed you to take the steps into a future that rocks!