The Two Kinds of Fear And How to Deal With Them
What are you most afraid of?
What are the types of fear that you experience at certain points in your life?
Do you have fears of not being able to stay in control of the things around you and losing them one way or another, your relationships, your job?
Fear is a crippling feeling that gets the best of you.
It’s something that creeps up to you just when you least expect it.
Perhaps it’s a painful experience in the past that you don’t want to happen again, a scenario or story that plays in your head that has not even manifested itself in the present…
No matter what the reason is behind that fear, one thing’s for sure.
It shakes your spirit and makes you wonder how the heck you can get past it once it strikes.
What are the Causes of Fear? There are Two...
What scares you to the core of your very being?
For me, my greatest fear include a few things. I’m scared to death that one day, I am going to wake up and my kids will no longer be kids. I have fears in my business, and I wonder where my money is going to come from. I worry about disappointing my clients or hiring the wrong employees who are not at all a good fit in my business.
So many fears but are they really worth wasting my time and energy on?
What are the types of fear you go through each day?
It could be the fear of not being able to make it in a business that you haven’t even started, losing clients who probably don’t even plan on dropping your service, not being able to be there for your kids 5, 10 years from now yet you haven’t even been doing much to fix your diet…
Some fears are really just so irrational sometimes…
They just attack you all of a sudden and once they do, you’re left feeling stuck, frozen, and not knowing what to do.
But really, when you get to the bottom of your fears, there really are just two kinds of reasons why you experience this tough emotion:
- You are afraid of venturing into the unknown.
- You are afraid of someone else’s situation or response.
Let’s take the first reason behind fear: Going into the unknown.
Fear of the Unknown and How to Address It
What are psychological fears?
The fear of the unknown is definitely one of these fears of psychological nature.
The unknown is a dark and scary place for some people.
It’s stepping out of their comfort zone that frightens them because there’s so much uncertainty waiting for them on the other side.
But you know, it’s not always scary to dive into the unknown.
In fact, you should embrace it and accept it wholeheartedly.
In all honesty, venturing into the unknown is actually a good thing. When you feel yourself feeling a hint of concern or anxiety or perhaps even fear because you’re entering a new territory, BOOM!
When you have these fears of the unknown, be grateful. It only means you are moving forward, trying something new and pushing towards the accomplishment of your goal.
Have you recently dipped your toes into the world of content creation? Maybe you recently started selling a new product as your side hustle? Or you have a new job that feels a little over your head and you have your plate full right now? Not sure how to raise those kids, how to make the table your wife wants, how to improve the laundry organization system?
High five! Challenging and journeying towards this unknown, carving the path towards your preferable life!
If you feel fear because of the unknown, think of it this way - you are moving forward and not being stuck wherever you are at the moment.
You are made for bigger, greater things. And wherever the unknown is leading you, the best is yet to come!
Trust in that reality.
It’s something you can learn tons from and will help you develop into a better person.
Facing Your Fears of Someone’s Situation or Response
This kind of fear may seem like it’s not about you but in reality, it really is about you since it’s your reaction.
What are the types of fear you encounter that are mostly all about another person’s situation or reaction?
Let me share with you some examples.
I have a fear of losing clients, I fear that I will miss out on my kids and see them all grown up and it’s too late for me to turn back time or have a do-over, I am afraid of losing my mom because a year and a half ago, I learned she has heart problems.
What are those things you fear, things relevant to another person’s situation?
You have a choice not to fear these things because they are essentially beyond your control.
Being afraid won’t do you any good but you can do something to change things up and even the potential outcome of the situation.
Are you afraid that one day your clients might just leave?
Improve your service, intensify your research work to sell better for their businesses, bring on an employee that specializes in a solution your clients need, work on being better at project management and effective communication with clients and your team.
Afraid of missing out on your kids’ lives?
This is something you are absolutely in full control of. Put in more time and energy to be with them, go on a bike ride, play games with them, read them books, tuck them to bed each night, have a nice family meal and don’t skip on this one.
Do you fear losing your mom because of a heart problem that’s like a ticking bomb?
Encourage her to do light physical activities, follow a balanced diet, take herbs and supplements that can help her manage her condition…
You can do all of these but at the end of the day, it is still beyond your control because she will decide whether or not she will take your recommendations.
Hold these fears inside of an open hand instead of a closed fist.
You can not control it all, nor do you want to!
Define Your Fears and Take Control of Your Life
There are different reasons behind your fears - diving into the unknown and facing someone’s situation or reactions.
But at the end of the day, it all boils down to you and your choice to be clear with the reason why you are feeling fear and directing your day each day, taking action to move forward from that fear.
Let it work to your advantage and don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not worth the fear.
If you are an insurance agent in need of more customers, pay for advertising, buy leads and work for them, start networking, or do it the old school way and go door to dooring.
If you want to witness your kids’ day to day progress and development, be there for them and put them at the top of your priority list instead of making them the least important in your life.
And if that thing you fear is absolutely beyond your control, you just have to trust and let go. In the end, fears that originate from these just steal your today away.
Fear is organic, embrace it and keep showing up when venturing into the unknown and do all you can do but let it go when a response is out of your control.